Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Future Is Now!

The following was definitely some sort of class assignment to, I don't know, come up with an ad? Because I had Don Draper for a teacher? Not too sure. What I do remember is thinking that if this product existed, it would be the COOLEST. THING. EVER. Fast-forward 20-some years, and... well, see for yourself.

What exactly is a Watch-a-call, you ask? And is Pepsi going to sue me for trademark infringement? Well the answer—to the first question, anyway—lies in the advertising copy:

It's a watch with a phone inside!
No extra for long distance calls!
$99.89 Just $50.00!

So, okay, I know it sounds like a cell phone, but check it out. It looks like a Swatch!

Admit it, cell phones would be cooler if you could get your name on them.

And if you're thinking to yourself, "Okay, smartypants, where do I DIAL?" well then you clearly have yet to encounter the back view of the Watch-a-call:

The world's most sloppily drawn keypad.

I actually imagined this would be some super-secret 10-year-old spy shit. Here's how it would go down:

Watch-a-call in action!

On one side of the lightning bolt, you and your side pony would be sitting at your desk in your invisible chair that kinda makes you look like a paraplegic. And you'd be like, "Hey, this lesson on multiplication tables BLOWS! I wonder what my friend with the newscaster hair is up to right now?" BAM! On the other side of the lightning bolt, your questionably bewigged friend with the World's Longest Torso would receive your call as a series of super-loud BEEPs that would surely get your Watch-a-call confiscated until the end of the day. Brilliant!

Joking aside, it's kind of amazing that this product almost exists now—I mean, a cell phone is pretty much a phone with a watch inside, making it, like, um... a Call-a-watch? And it even has free long distance, which seemed like CRAZY wishful thinking at the time. Granted, a cell phone's not all incognito like the Watch-a-call, but I'm guessing that holding your wristwatch up to your ear repeatedly would probably blow your cover anyway.

NEXT TIME: More pictures tellin' some stories. (That's code for "I haven't picked out which one I'm going to use yet.")


carissajaded said...

Oh what I would have done with a watch-a-call. If that would have existed, maybe cell phones would be obsolete. Maybe they would have taken over and now everyone would have mini-computers on their wrists. I would definitely feel more like a spy that way!! Loves it.

That Kind of Girl said...

But does it get reception your tricked-out technology treehouse?! THESE ARE THE HARD-HITTING QUESTIONS!

Callie said...

This idea is so badass. I once invented a television remote control with a paging system so that you could find the remote when it was lost, the only problem was that the button to hit to find the remote was actually on the remote. Technology Fail.

It's totally okay though, cause now I have a fancy-shmancy remote with a call button on the charging station, so I win.

Sadako said...

I totally just use my cell phone as my watch and never wear a real watch. So I guess mine is more of a call-a-watch...either way, you were so prescient! You rock.

kcrace said...

First of all, Watch-A-Call? GREAT name. Kudos.

I find it so funny how having your name on something was considered the height of luxury and sophistication in the mind of a tween? I remember begging to have my bookbag monogrammed. SUCH a big deal.

Lorelai said...

This reminds me so much of a project we had in primary school where we had to come up with an ad for a made-up company. I don't remember what we were actually supposed to LEARN, but my group invented a phone company called TelFone, and our jingle was, "Tell your phone about *clap* TelFone!" Yeah. I made that up. And I didn't become an advertising exec. Wasted opportunity right there.

andrea jean said...

Awesome! When I was in third grade, I "invented" a tiny phone that stayed in your ear so you could get calls wherever you went, even in a restaurant! (Um, Bluetooth?)

I also had the idea for something that worked with the TV so that you could watch any episode of any show whenever you wanted. Yeah, I invented Tivo.

Cory said...

Once, in fourth grade, we actually had to invent something AND THEN ACTUALLY MAKE IT. Yeah, it was a freaking crazy assignment for a fourth-grader, but some of my classmates actually made some cool stuff. For instance, my friend made this mat that you could put by your bed, and when you stepped on it a light went on nearby. I'm thinking that she had some outside help on that one (and/or may have stolen the idea from an actual product at the time...I'm not sure if such existed then or even now).

Anyways, my invention sucked some major ass, to the extent that I don't even want to admit what it was. Let's just say it was less of an invention and more of an arts-and-crafts project, and I made the mistake of choosing to present it to the class AFTER my friend with her fancy mat/light switch creation.

Sada said...

Carissa: Right? Everything's better if it's a spy-cessory.


Callie: So what you're saying is that your product was the beta version?

Sadako: Mine is a Call-a-watch too! Who needs watches anymore? I mean, unless you can get free long-distance on them...

KC: All my things had to be monogrammed especially (hi, my name is Sada), so it was a super big deal for me. But this means no one could steal my Watch-a-call and get away with it! Mua ah ah!

Lorelai: Telling your phone about anything is awesome! Maybe you should write a jingle for the Watch-a-call?

Andrea Jean: Way to one-up me by inventing Bluetooth and Tivo! Can you maybe start working on teleportation?

Cory: Thank god we didn't have to make our inventions. I would have been screwed.

Aimee said...

hahaha I am totally loving your illustrations. They are both straightforward an symbolic...symbolic of what, I don't know. But deifnitely symbolic.


Anonymous said...

I want a watch-a-call!

This is way better than my invention. I had to put on a TV commercial (sans camera) in my third grade class. I made up a fake product called "Wake-Os". The idea was to take a pill to make sure you woke up at a certain time in the morning. (Because apparently it's better to drug yourself than to bother with one of those pesky alarm clocks...) I used Skittles in a spice jar during my "commercial".

Sada said...

Aimee: I think the lightning bolt symbolizes the power that runs our badass spy watches and interrupts Silent Sustained Reading.

perfectsize12: Wake-Os, I love it! You could have hired Jessie Spano as your spokesperson!

Anonymous said...

Jessie Spano probably wouldn't have approved of my product. I harmed a lot of trees (i.e. wasted a lot of poster board) creating a pseudo set for my TV commercial.

zanne said...

I think the Watch-a-call is awesome! I'm sure I would have thought it was the coolest thing when I was younger. I really can't remember ever having to invent anything when I was younger.

Organic Meatbag said...

swatch!! Holy shit, that takes me waaaaay back...hahaha!

Cordee said...

Oh my GOD! I love your blog. Your watchphone reminds me of the advertisements for fictional products my friend and I produced for our very own magazine...we used pencil crayons and scrap paper. So glad to see we weren't the only ones who were this creative.

Plus, I'm with Sadako. I don't wear watches anymore. Who needs to when you have a cell or an iPod? :)

Calico Drive said...

I love--LOVE--her many-scrunchied ponytail. Classic!