- BOYS!
- Chinese food!
- The same middle name!
- A fascination with—but weak grasp of—the French language!
- Swiss Family Robinson!
- Reading entirely too much!
Dear Sada,
I am 8 years old. My favorite foods are Pizza, Spaghetti, and Chinnese food. I have one brother and his name is Matt.
Yours Truly,
Jamie [Next to this she drew a heart with smiley face]
P.S. What is your birth stone? Mine is Emerald
The letter was accompanied by this lovely self-portrait, daringly drawn in profile:
The second letter is kinda about her parents' careers but mostly gives the low-down on all of the birthstones, so I'll spare you. Here's the third letter:
March 18, 1987
Dear Sada,
If we had one special day together we would go to Oz. We would meet all the characters of Oz. We would meet Ozma, the fairy princess of all Oz. She would make us fairy princesses of Oz.
Your friend,
Jamie
P.S. My dad knows your dad.
The following diary entries were also written in third grade, so try to imagine these words flowing from little Jamie's crayoned hand. You might also want to imagine Jamie curled up with a copy of Anne of Green Gables, because she exhibits, oh, just a slight tendency toward Anne Shirley–esque melodrama.Oct. 3, 1986
Dear Diary,
I went to Lake Tahoe and saved about 30 crawdads life.
I love the picture on front of the cat!
What picture on the front of the cat, you ask? Oh, this one:
I'd say that cat looks less than pleased about being crammed preciously inside a desk cubby.
Well Mary might come over but I don't think she would come over if she had known "Luke" one of my brothers friend's were over
I still hope to see Aaron someday!
Love,
Jamie
Nov. 21, 1986
A Picture for a secret friend, My diary.
Jamie
Nov. 7, 1986
Dear Diary,
I told you I hoped see Aaron someday and I did! But I no care anymore!
I got a new boy! His name is Jon and he is 9 and in 4th grade. He has choclaty brown hair and he has a brother named Rashi. My friend Sarah loves him. He has dirt hair and is in 2nd grade. I love Jon! Bye!
Jamie
Man, the diary was getting Older Men with dessert for hair, and I was getting birthstones! By the way, I love thinking of a fourth grader as an older man.
Nov. 21, 1986
Dear Diary,
I love you! I will always cherish the moments we have shared. Sarah and I are blood sisters. In case you are wondering blood sisters are when you prick a part of you're body and you're friend does and you rub them together. Kate is 9 now. I went to her birthday party. I got her a special teddy bear. I had a tearful but wild parting. My exact words were "The time has come for us to part."
I will write soon.
I promise.
Jamie
I just Googled "tearful but wild parting"—because, seriously, did she come up with that on her own?—and Google suggested that instead I might try "tearful but wild partying." No mention of special teddy bears.
Nov. 24, 1986
Dear Diary,
We went to see some wonderful tap dancers. My favorite one was Baldy! The youngest tap dancer was 69 and the oldest was 75.
Bye, Bye
Love,
Jamie
I don't know where one can go to see geriatric tap dancers, but I would sure like to find out! Jamie?
Dec. 7, 1986
Dear Diary,
We taped Swiss Family Robinson. One of my favorite characters was Frances. He was always getting into trouble
I am getting dad probably a shirt.
I am making mom a beautiful gift of Glittery paper flowers.
Bye, Bye
Love,
Jamie
Dec. 12, 1986
Dear Diary,
My concert was last night and we sang: Kooka burra, Hey Ho Hey lo, Hannaka Song and x-mas song.
On the Hannaka song I had to dance. My face turned bright red.
And what's worse Jon did not clap.
Love,
Jamie
Stupid fourth grade chocolate head!
Dec. 16, 1986
Dear Diary,
Matt is writing a report about the tree.
I do not want him to feel bad but, everybody knows a tree is a plant.
Guess what!
We got our gifts under are x-mas tree.
Merry x-mas!
Bye, Bye
Love,
Great Me Myself,
Jamie
Jan. 28, 1987
Dear Diary,
It's 1987 now.
Happy late New Year
Sorry I have not written a letter to you sooner. We write in cursife now at school. Shall I write a sentence for you? Ok. I will......
i love you!
♥ PEACE
Pardon.
Wee wee Meshouir.
That's French!
Bye, Bye
jamie
April 1, 1987
Dear Diary,
Will you ever forgive me for not writing you a letter in so long? It's about a month and a day.
Diary, I hate you!
April Fools Day!
Every April 1 you go around playing practical jokes.
I know how to write most of the capital letters in cursive. You Are My Diary and i ♥ you
Bye, Bye
Jamie ♥
She really pulled one over on her inanimate secret friend, eh?
April 6, 1987
Dear Diary,
It started out as a A+ day but I changed it to C-.
I got in trouble at school and with my parents.
Bye, Bye
Jamie
This next one I had to scan in so you could get the full effect:
April 26, 1987
Dear Diary,
I am quite able to see now!
Guess what?
Jon got his hair spiked.
It looks sort of good sort of ugly.
I took a big × and ÷ test. I'm afraid I scored low.
Right now Matt is singing Jamie + Jon sitting in the tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love,
than comes marrige
than comes the baby in the baby
Jamie
She left out the "carriage," which makes it sound kind of like a "Babies Having Babies" episode on Maury Povich. But seeing as she's in third grade, I guess that's right on the money.
No date on this next one:
Dear Diary,
Have I ever told you the Karate Kid was a dream boy? No? He was the cutest boy I ever saw!
But now Mathew Brodrick ties with Ralph Machio, The Karate Kid. They are both very dreamy!
I with I had there autographs!
Maybe I can pretend.
Dream boys!
Bye, Bye,
Jamie
Nothing like the forged, misspelled autographs of your (neck-and-neck) dream boys! You guys, this kills me.
May 9, 1987
Dear Diary,
I'm so sleepy! I can hardly ceep my peepers open.
Night!
Jamie
June
Dear Diary,
Sorry did not write
dying!
I am dying
Goodbye
For the rest of my life.
I love you.
From
Jamie
June 6, 1987
Dear Diary,
That letter was a phony!
Don't believe it!
Jamie
It's just too easy to pull the wool over your diary's eyes, isn't it?
So Jamie and I never made it to Oz, but we did end up at the same middle school, where were lab partners two years in a row. We finally cemented our friendship by defiling an educational Archie comic book in 8th grade. Oh, the memories. Now we both live in Portland, so we can have tearful but wild partings on a regular basis.
Speaking of which, the time has come for us to part...
NEXT TIME: I run into some preteen problems—namely, braces.
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